Don't Drink and Duel

The following is a true story. Please take extreme care in reading the following. It is graphic. Allow me to paint the scene. Brewfest, right outside of Ironforge. The snow on the ground, fresh and unsoiled. Aculeus Upon Ordeum gathered in the center of the festivities, amidst the large kegs and drunk dwarves to bid one of their own farewell. It was to be his last night in the World......of Warcarft. We, in our frivolity, began to drink and dance and (children's eyes should be covered for the next sentence) we got naked in the snow.

So there we were, dancing in our undies and our screens a large blur, when Fem decided it would be fun to duel each other. Much drunken laughter ensued as she exchanged fists with our rogue and promptly landed his butt on the snow. Full of Amazonian hormones, she went after her husband Krys, and did the same to him.

Athena herself couldn't have done better. Flexing her muscles, in between her belches, I looked at her and said, "Hey Fem wanna duel...hic."

The gleam in her eye should have scared me, if I would have been able to see it, but she was simply a blob with a purple Fel Axe on her back.

"Sure," she said and the duel box appeared. I accepted. I had intended to fight her with just Pookie. I casted Eye of the Beast, but before I could move, she charged me. I pounded on my pet attack macro button, only to remember, I was on my husband's computer and he didn't have it! Second per second, my health started to rapidly deplete, as Fem wailed her axe on my tender dwarven flesh.

Then I got Pookie on her.

Screams and horrific denials flooded vent. I, myself, looked away from the carnage as she beat on Pookie, but had no effect. She did one more thunderclap and fell to the snow.

Her hands bleeding, she looked up at Pookie now standing calmly by my side. Embarrassed, I said, "Fem, hey, I am sorry. I didn't mean-"

Her scream cut me off. Her eyes rolled and she fell down on her side.

Still.

I looked at her health.

0

"What the hell just happened? How did you die?" I said. She responded, equally perplexed, "I don't know."

I keep saying, " I am sorry Fem! I didn't mean for Pookie to get so carried away." She brushed it off, but Krys muttered, "That what happens when you don't give him a hug."

I laughed in between my apologizes and chastising Pookie.

Krys walking around the crime scene, and pointed to the dead body of a wolpertinger . "Check your log, Fem."

She read it out loud, "Wolpertinger hits you for 1."

Immediately following, "You are dead."

What is the lesson here? If you duel drunk, give Pookie hugs or a cryptid creature will kill you.

He has friends, you know.